How to take an effective ‘Mom-guilt’ Free Mental Health Day

Is finding time for yourself a never-ending cycle of happiness followed by a flood of mom-guilt? Let’s change that.

Ya, I’ve been there. I’ve been invited to go hang out with my ladies and I’ve declined over and over and over again. So much, as I eventually was losing friends, confidence, and a spark of love, for myself.

It almost got to a point where doing the things I used to do “pre-baby” were now a chore, left me feeling slightly uneasy and usually ended in a last-minute cancellation of plans so I just ‘didn’t have to think about or deal with it’—or get out of sweatpants.

Let me tell you something, that is not the road to your best life.

Start small. Start with one thing you used to do that you are finding yourself wishing you could get back to. Is it the common workout schedule? How about date night? Ladies travel? Painting, pottery or other crafts? Or the most basic, a bubble bath?

I noticed I needed to get out of my funk when my daughter didn’t want to leave home anymore. She didn’t want to go do anything, go anywhere, just a bump on a log. Boring. I had become this. Boring. Not fun. No ambition or drive to spread love, life and happiness with others. Instead, I thought complaining and self-pity would save me from this crap hole I had dug myself into. Now let’s get this straight. I wasn’t out on the town complaining to every Tom, Dick and Harry I ran into. No, I was spreading false positive messages all over the world through my social media accounts, when truly, I was crumbling inside.

Fast forward 3 years. Still spreading positive messages all over the world via social media, but this time, it is truly genuine. From a place of intention. A place of love, light, grace, humiliation, self-reflection, personal growth and a clear vision of what I was brought to this beautiful world to complete (or at least attempt to complete). I found a purpose—to help others enjoy their vacations for one, and to help others enjoy a new perspective on life through yoga for two.

The mesh of these two embodied me as a whole. They touch every part of who I am, and I am thankful to say I have found the perfect way to have a ‘Mom-guilt’ Free Mental Health Day because of the small steps I have taken daily over the last three years. It took lots of tiny stumbles to get to this point, but each movement in the right direction will get you much farther than not taking any action at all, am I right?

So, I wrote a list of 3 things I missed doing that I made an excuse to not do anymore. Bubble baths. Movement. Nature.

Each bubble bath, each yoga session, each meditation block, walk in the woods, cup of coffee in my backyard while throwing the ball for the dog, writing of gratitude— these all started to mold me into who I was supposed to be before I let others make an impact on who they thought I should become. I started to love the parts I hated for so long. I noticed small things about who I once was started to make their way to the surface. Pretty soon, the imposter syndrome of being a business owner/Entrepeneur were pushed to the way back of my brain and became so dim it is a faint speck of lint in the back of my mind now. I had to tell myself every single day I was worthy of happiness. (These bubble up from time to time- as growth and life are all a learning process and continuous observance.) My affirmations flowed like the most elegant stream. I am worthy of abundance. I am worthy of a solid tribe of women who share a love for our land, fun adventures and sharing empowerment and spreading light. I am worthy of a solid, strong and supportive marriage where teamwork is valued, and boundaries are respected. I am worthy of a fun loving and open relationship where we travel and are active together with my daughter. I am worthy of small bouts of happiness throughout the day.

I started believing I was worthy of living a life I loved and deserved, and it has made the biggest impact so far. Just because you or I don’t fit a certain mold of what society thinks we should look like, talk like or be like, doesn’t mean we aren’t worthy of stepping into our roles and being proud of who we are no matter what that looks like for you. Matching your newfound motivation with a strong worthy mindset will jet power your opportunities to have a ‘Mom-guilt’ Free Mental Health Day as well.

So, start small, know your worth or have a positive mindset, and lastly, start recognizing when what you’ve been needing and asking for is presenting itself to you. We could walk past our open door a million times if we don’t recognize it has a pretty cloth of fears over the door that needs to be swept to the side in order to enter. When we are wanting to go from one point in life to another, we usually need to jump through a series of doubt conquering hoops to get there. Most of the time it’s dark, lonely and cold on the way, and it can have a rollercoaster of emotions and tasks along the journey. As true as that is, I’ve always played by the rule of work like it depends on you and pray like it depends on God, and after becoming more aware of the things I had missed or skipped in the past, when I was honestly just looking for the right experience to pull me up from the depths of my depressive state, I knew if I didn’t start acting, God wasn’t going to start delivering. Period.

Ironically, creating a sisterhood can happen in the blink of an eye. One week you can be staring at the clouds wondering how you could share those moments with other females you loved and cherished and that loved and cherished you, and the next week you could be sneaking off behind a tree to pee and pray and say thank you to the universe for placing you in the middle of the most epic adventure you’ve ever experienced with a group of women you could have never even dreamed of being able to call your sisters and friends.

Laughter and stories over lunch in the woods, smiles and fun for hours while breathing in the fresh mountain air and exploring areas of the beautiful place I call home I’d never been to, that was my full circle moment of how to have an effective ‘Mom-guilt’ Free Mental Health Day. It finally dawned on me to fully teach my daughter the lesson to take every chance put in front of you to live more fully, to accept invitations from those who know you can do nothing for them except say thank you and send a prayer but they just want to see you happy, and to just be thankful for the days already past with a smile and love in your heart in case a next one doesn’t arrive.

Believe yourself and others when you hear you are worthy and deserving. You are. That’s it.